recovery

I gave up on genuinely writing this blog many months ago. I had a huge blackout that started at the end of last year, too many poisonous questions were popping out in my head : what for, who needs this, should I continue... and not only concerning the writing or photography but life in general (which sounds terrifying and it is). Feeling hopeless and useless I stopped creating for myself, taking only commands for other people which made me feel like an animal stuck in a swamp with no will to move because of the fear to sink deeper. I know everybody has those moments of doubts but it's different when you experience it all by yourself. Of course it is a known thing noone can pull you from that state except yourself. So I travelled in order to see new kind of beauty, met different people in order to hear their stories and pushed myself to make crazy experiences in order to feel again. It didn't worked immediately but step by step I started to live again.
I decided to make this blog more personal from now own first of all because I feel I need this and the second reason is that when I read personal things of other photographers or artists in general it makes me stronger, to see that they can be weak too and full of hesitations gives me courage to continue. And sometimes coming back and seeing all those old pictures and thoughts is a good thing and it makes me happy because I know I evolved and because some things I never want to forget, even the hard ones.
So no more questions just moving forward no matter what. It's going to be a mix of old thoughts and old shootings with my new experiences until I recover completely and devote myself to a present moment.

a no-make-up autoportrait I took few months ago when I started to emerge from my frozen state